by Simon Mahatty
A lot of books claim to be the next “Terry Pratchett” and very rarely does the humour even come close. It’s that mix of absurdity, cynicism, real world references, catch 22 situations and sophomoric humour that makes satire books work well.
Add this hilarious debut to the list of successes. It may not be fair to compare this to Pratchett, as this is not a fantasy. There are a lot of parallels to “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” and as the story progresses, the story has some sly nods to those themes. In the beginning we meet Lewis Dibble, a short, forgettable protagonist, a compliance consultant, successfully finishing a contract with a large insurance company that the CEO thinks will move assets off shore, but really into Lewis’ pockets.
You see, Lewis is corporate “Cowl Redbreast”, who steals from the rich mega corp, and gives to the poor, who is primarily himself at this time. Also, it took me a few mentions of Cowl Redbreast to be “Robin Hood” because .. get it? We are not exactly on the earth we know, but something awfully similar where everything is kind of familiar but not quite. Now, the where and how and why this is won’t come until later in the story, so for the first bit of the novel, just enjoy the ride. Literally. Enjoy the ride.
If you have been to Disney World, or any of the other Disney theme parks or cruise ships around the world, whether you enjoyed it or not, prepare to be inundated with descriptions, asides, Easter eggs, quotes and experiences that you will understand perfectly. Anyone who has been to any amusement park or resort in hot weather, as a kid, or with kids, will relive some of those nightmares and /or delights. You see, Lewis managed to get a life time ban from the fantastic and huge vacation resort called Pelagic shores Home of Pelagic Kingdom park, along with hotels, restaurants, DownTown Pelagic (more shops and restaurants and night life) and waterparks, beaches, boats, submarails, people movers, visionary 360 degree theatres, futuristic visions of tomorrow, fake shrubbery, automatons, strollers, old retirees and the happiest happenings on the planet. All of this on a gigantic island, where the fun is on top and under the ground is all the moving parts, like security whose job it is to make sure there are NO SCANDALS, which means no missing people. But Lewis’ uncle is missing and he’s received a mysterious guidebook and now he’s been summoned to the Pelagic Shores to help security clear up this mess before anyone finds out.
Of course nothing actually goes as planned, because no one really stays where they are supposed to be, and Lewis, with the temporary lift on his lifetime ban, comes down with a case of DTS – deranged tourist syndrome – which makes it very difficult to work with – seems he would rather see the sights, and go on the rides than actually be present to the imminent danger he is in. Add to that two 14 year old accomplices, or maybe not, who are out to prove their stepmother killed their father and that it is all connected to why Lewis is there, and the guidebook is the key to it all.
The story begins as a mystery, with our intrepid team racing to find the key to the secret throughout the Pelagic Kingdom, trying to stay one step ahead of an every growing list of security, scientists, retirees and lizard men (disguised as a human of course) hot on their tail. The first half of the book is a mix of chases and near misses, interspersed with exciting rides, lovable characters, terrible yet delicious food, unending lines and frustrated parents who are determined to get every penny out of this overpriced vacation. (plus some crying toddlers who. have. had. enough)
The fast pace of the chase scenes are interspersed with descriptions of the rides and other tourists that are delightful. At one point, our intrepid team must find a clue hidden in a ride, that is a slow boat that meanders through different scenes of weird children puppets that are singing a song that cannot be named, for legal reasons the song may cause some unhealthy side effects. If you’ve been to Disney you know what ride this is. If you have been stuck on this ride, you know EXACTLY what ride this is. Our poor protagonists are unable to find the clue and spend 5 hours riding and reriding and are considering drastic measures, when the book detours to some other poor sod’s unfortunate situation coupled with the ride’s experience causes him to jump up, exclaim HE CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE, run onto the platform and rip the puppet automatons off and throw them around. While I might consider that a spoiler, it really isn’t because the book is chock full of hilarious little anecdotes that are as important as whether a whale or a pot of petunias will hit the ground first.
Just when you think you’ve had enough of bad puns and not at all Disney ride descriptions, the book’s second half shifts to the why does Pelagic Shores exist and what is the big secret and why is there a lizard man, and why is there so much paperwork. The answers found in the guidebook only create a whole new set of problems and while the humour remains, the shift in motif from funny satire to more of a wider science fiction story is welcome. it’s kind of like meeting Slartibartfast and discovering that reality is not at all what you thought it was. The stakes get a bit larger, our protagonists get a little smarter and a whole lot braver (although Lewis Dibble still fumbles a lot as he is just not quite the hero type, he’s sort of fallen into it)
All in all, I loved this book and was dropping quotes and screenshots of funny bits to my Disney savvy book friends for the last week. I have been to Disneyworld as a child, a young adult and as a parent, maybe in the double digits of times. I think this book was written for me. It goes deep into disney lore, but with enough plausible deniability to keep it away from copywriting lawyers hands. I hope, because this is a book that does satire the right way, allowing us to laugh at the things we love and live with everyday. I hope this author has more to write, because on top of the satire, his main cast of characters were written with heart and emotion and the reader really learns to care about this poor schlub Lewis and I admire an everyman hero.
5/5 for making this reviewer happy.
